Screaming, yelling, crying for no known reason – this being your toddler. Embarrassed, frustrated, angry even – this would be you. Have you ever been here? I have, and can say without a doubt that it’s NO fun for you or your child.

My 3rd child is the one that showed us this side of toddler life, and at times it’s been that way since Day 1. I’ve even gone so far as to say that now I understand why so many parents stop having children after their 3rd one, in a joking/ yet somewhat serious manner.

But I’d like to encourage you should you have a child like this, because things CAN get better. I had to begin with myself before I saw any change in our son. Let me share some questions I asked myself for starters:

1)  Do I act this way at times? If so, why – what is really upsetting me? Most of the time there are only a few reasons. I’m tired, I’m misunderstood, or I’m not feeling well.

2) Based on my answers above, could my child be tired, misunderstood, or not feeling well?

3) More times than not, I truly believe the issue with us falls into the misunderstood category. We expect #3 to just go with the flow all the time, when sometimes he needs something different than his older brother and sister.

I forget that HE needs the same attention that the older two needed and got when they were his age. Many times, he just needs a little cuddle time with Mommy. His eyes light up should I mention reading a book with him. “Okay Mommy!”, said with the most enthusiasm is what I hear should I ask him if he wants to help me clean or cook.

I’ve started to see a pattern that should I distract him from fussing and instead take the time to show some extra affection and/or attention - his frown turns upside down!

I’ll not say it’s always easy to do this, because at least as a mommy of 4 little ones, it’s not for me. It takes a lot of effort at times, especially when he chooses to get upset at times that aren’t convenient for me. That’s when it helps to be proactive at times – giving that extra loving BEFORE the meltdowns.

We’re still nowhere close to being perfect parents, but this IS something that I’ve found to be consistently true for us. Think about it from our relationship with God.

We’re needy. We complain. We fuss. What are we really looking for? Are we looking for God to yell at us? To tell us to get our act together and be a big girl/ boy? Are we wanting him to sigh and turn away/ ignore us?

OR

Are we looking for His comfort? His peace? The simplicity of knowing the HE is there holding us?

When I look at things in this manner, how can I as a parent try to be anything other than our loving Heavenly Father is to me?

Mrs. Candace

Candace @ Sonbeams.com

Facebook: Sonbeams – Homeschool Preschool